The Story Behind Xavier’s Gratitude Challenge
Day 1: “I have nothing”
The story behind Xavier’s gratitude challenge - Day 1 “I have nothing”
It was mid March when Vietnam imposed the first national lockdown, determined to contain the spread of the unknown and life threatening virus namely, COVID-19. It was the first time for both my 13 years old son and I heard of the word, ‘lockdown’. I knew the word ‘curfew’ well because I am the mother of my two now adult children. But I am still too young or too fortunate in my grandparents’ eyes to experience any form of curfews.
What did it mean in the practical term, I was looking for the list of what we could or couldn’t do but all I could find was something to the effect of, ‘No one can go out of their homes’. Days leading up to the lockdown, the sense of urgency, uncertainty and anxiety became not only more noticeable in people and places around us but they were getting under our skin.
The tension between us became more intense, the looks we exchanged became more weary, the unanswered questions became the topic of discussion over dinners.
A week into this surreal experience, I started to notice how Xaiver turned all his attention to everything that he didn’t have and couldn’t do. His conversations, monologues were all wrapped around the fact that he had nothing. “I don’t have any friends, I couldn’t have my bubble tea, I couldn’t go swimming.”
The hours spent trying to make him see the otherwise were getting nowhere. The confined space and the loss of freedom distorted his thoughts and beliefs. His thoughts become his reality.
When we focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do have, it takes us to a dead end of our own creation. What I told Xavier was, “I am NOT asking you to pretend that you have what you actually don’t have but I am asking you to accept what you don’t have and look at what you do have.”
It is only when we put in the forefront of our attention of what we DO have, will we see clearly the fact that we have a lot more than what we thought we had.
I have fresh air
I have clean water
I have food in the fridge
I have shoes to wear
I have a nice view of the river from my balcony
Together we came up with the list above, at first he thought it was meaningless to state the obvious. So I asked him, ‘What do you think would happen if you don’t have clean water?”.
In my next post, I will share with you his answer and how it has opened doors to new discovery for him.
Have you asked your child a similar question? Share your thoughts with me.
Hi I’m Sandy!
As a positive parenting coach and Language specialist, my parenting workshops focus on helping parents to discover and develop the character strengths in their children. My 'How to Raise a Bilingual Child' course focus on helping parents to create a positive language learning environment at home.
Be a Positive Strengths-based Parent.
